Catch up - January 31, 2014

Kris fell again at Grace Pointe Rehab on Sunday 2 a.m. - more changes occured.  We finally took him to ER and then admitted him to NCMC with pneumonia and other changes related to dementia.

Change and new surroundings are very very difficult for those suffering from dementia and so Kris had yet another difficult time... but he tried his best every moment to do what was expected of him but not always succeeding :) (called being human).

I was again instructed by all the doctors and pallative staff that it was not in Kris' best interest (or mine) to bring him home for care.  

Yesterday at 1 p.m. Kris was placed at the Aspen House Memory Care Center in Loveland.   In order for Kris to adjust and start trusting others to care for him, they have asked that I not visit Kris for 7-10 days.  

For all of you who know me, you know that this is a heart-rendering request of me.  And you know as well that I am not coping well with this... however, I know who is holding me, who is protecting Kris and who is giving us strength for each step we are taking.   I will survive I am sure :)

Thank you for your constant thoughts and prayers, for your love and friendship.

Catch up - January 23, 2014

Kris and I have been coming to the house a little each day, we are here now and of course, he is sleeping :)  Wish I could say everything was going well and stable, but it is not... just like life I guess. 

I continue to do the up and down tango, not sure which way to go.  But I know that sooner or later a decision must be made and will be made with peace and courage.  

Kris is still at Grace Pointe Rehab Unit, still having issues with edema and now gout, he fell while trying to sit in a chair the other night (landed on one knee but jarred his already painful back), he won't eat in the dining room now, but has trouble with eating anyway so I can help better this way; sleep is still an issue (sleep in day and paces at night when I am not there, yes, the co-dependance is an issue but is normal the doctor says; not easy but normal); and the ever present incontinence. 

I am still going home at nights to sleep, my sister is still here with the dogs in the evenings; Kris' niece and her husband will start on the home renovations tomorrow.   

Just to cover my ever/never changing mind, the owner from Aspen House is coming over in a bit to do an assessment, just in case I land on a final decision.  Have filled out an application for VA nursing facility in Denver - just in case.  (See a pattern yet?  :( ).  I don't know where my decision-making process went, but it must be on extended vacation.

Thanks for your continued prayers and encouragement, give me time, I will land somewhere :)

Catch up - January 11, 2014

Had another restless night, up every hour (I timed them) to 'void' and he usually does.  I left at 5 am to go home and sleep for an hour and get clean clothes; he was still sleeping.  Is up by 8 here at rehab.  the staff is great and they love Kris, but I can't stay here 24 hrs a day - and he needs more than just have his meals served; talked to nurse last night and she indicated the nursing staff felt the same way, that he needed more one on one care and they were going to discuss on Monday... so a new day.  

Today he and I walked over to the Memory Care Unit - I wasn't expecting much but was VERY pleasantly surprised.  The residents were out and about, all stopped to talk to Kris and comment on his height, he visited with most of the men.. there was a husband/wife team scheduled to play guitar and sing and they invited us to stay.  Kris really enjoyed the music and again when we were leaving he shook several hands and hugged several of the CNAs :); there is a military honor wall there and he went to it several times.  Looked around at the rooms, etc.  They are nice and they come empty so we would provide bed, furniture, decorations, etc.  When we left he said that was a nice place... and again, I felt very good about it and the staff

He ate well, and was fairly focused for awhile this morning and we talked about going home vs staying awhile longer at this 'other place'... i know he doesn't understand or won't retain but..   We then spoke with the admission manager (Kris was with me), and they do have a room available, etc - they will all meet on Monday.  They were hoping he could stay in rehab the 20 days but I said it wasn't working , it would be better at home... that being said, I called an RN friend of mine and neighbor to discuss that option (I know I know).  Will sleep on it today and tomorrow... I need to make a decision so he can get adjusted.  

He is eating well, and seems happy in am.   They are doing speech and physical therapy, although not much as he's not too cooperative.  Apparently they added another 'dementia/alz' med yesterday x2.  I noticed Kris using his hands as if he were splicing at work, icky-pick and all; and stepping on the carpet like it had glue on it.  I asked today and they told me about the med, i requested notification before any meds were added to explain the reasoning and side effects.  I will talk with the doctor on Monday and they will not give him those meds till then. 

One of our neighbor ladies stopped by after lunch and of course Augie came by yesterday.  I left at 2:00 to come home to wash clothes and look at mail, etc., and take Ghoni to Walmart, she is being such a help but can tell she is antsy to get back home.  

I will go back at 4:30 to have dinner and listen to the guitar players in another area, give him a shower and hopefully he will sleep; planning on coming home tonight around 8-9:00 - so I can sleep and so he can adjust to not having me there all the time.  Tomorrow I will take some short leaves and home to sleep again... and we will see what happens Monday and will start working with VA.  Guess that's it for now - questions?  answers?   I still am treading in unknown territory :(,,,,

Catch up - January 10, 2014

Well, we have landed at Grace Pointe. It was very overwhelming for Kris - actually for both of us.  He had a restless night and didn't get quality sleep, the incontinence interferes plus restlessness. I am hoping tonight will be better as I was ready to take us home today. I don't see much change and for the cost, I could  probably get help at home for less AND I would be home..... I'm never happy :( 

He did seem to do better this am except his back is really hurting from the fall. The staff is very nice, but not too quick to respond, can't have both I guess.  We have 20 days to figure it all out.
 

Kris is in room 118   Well, as my mom always tells me, give things 24 hours before going too crazy :). 

And I know who is holding us, thank you God!  And I am praying for you all as you pray for us.  

Catch up - January 9, 2014

I left the hospital about 9:30 tonight with Kris snoring away wrapped in a nice warm blanket. They take such good care (not like me of course, but more patient than I :)  I try to do all the care-taking for him up there when I can as they are doing us a favor by keeping him and helping us out, they are so busy.  

It is where the alcoholics and druggies come when problems, it is a lockdown floor.   And I believe it was meant to be - when looking for a bed they didn't know where to put him, thank God it was there as most of the nurses and CNA's have worked in Alz facilities and were very aware of Kris's actions and reactions.. and again, they love him.  It will be hard for them to say goodbye, if they know they won't see us again they all come in and hug us and cry a bit.  have made me promise to keep them updated.  

I, however, will be glad to move forward, it feels a bit like prison to me and I think Kris will do much better being able to walk around more and outside, etc.  It is amazing to watch him when walking down the hall, the floors are faux wood dark and then light wood squares in the middle for decoration I guess - when he walks he won't walk on the light wood, will most times bend down to see if it will come up.  He wants to go into some of the patient rooms to see people but will always just wave to them, he picks at things in the air and on his lap, talks to someone(s) unknown to me - will stare at the dry erase board or mirror for hours - very unfocused, very sad.    I don't know what the fall did but it certainly has caused a change in him - sometimes sometimes he was like he was before (do they call that normal?)  

Well, must get some sleep, will get up early to shower and pack things for his room and maybe take them over if possible, get sister to work and to the hospital as early as possible.  Thank you to my friends from work who will take my car to Grace Pointe so I can ride in the van with Kris (your graciousness never ends Muriel), wish us luck, pray that I made the right choice in all areas and that I stop questioning all the doors that God has opened for us - again, I believe this is a God-thing through and through and He will keep me glued together.  I feel His presence, but I am still frightened, among other things... this is just part of life I am afraid.

The dogs are still confused and even more spoiled than before, they keep looking for Kris - Kris still reaches out for them and gives them a make believe treat now and then.  Ghoni is still willing to come over after work to spend the night with them. The facility has asked that I stay with Kris at least a couple of nights and slowly wean him (and myself probably), my sis has the weekend off and will stay... another God thing...then we will both know what tomorrow looks like tomorrow and tomorrow.   

With heavy eyes and full heart - all my love and thank you for your notes of encouragement and love

Catch up - January 8, 2014

I finally made it home at 11 tonight, but of course can't sleep.  My sister Ghoni has stepped up and is staying with Abby and Kate (the spoiled dogs) at night so have been able to stay with Kris most of the day and night.  I will be glad to get this change made and a regular schedule in place.

Kris has not had a good night until last night around midnight and then he slept through the night and off and on most of the morning so we are hoping that since he is finally on a medication schedule, he will continue to rest and heal.  

The closed head injury definitely has made a decline in this dementia (that is not proper English, sorry)  but I pray that with some rehab and rest, maybe he will get better and with a lot of prayers.  

I have to make a decision about a facility by tomorrow morning - will probably go with Grace Pointe as I think their rehab and transitioning later on would be better for Kris (and me as well) he will then be transferred Thursday.  

With all my complaining I owe a huge debt of gratitude to the doctor who has worked with us during Kris' stay... i think it was a God-thing, like all that has happened.    I am getting stronger, my bouts of sadness are still there but each day they don't last as long.  Thank you for being here for me.

Catch up - January 5, 2014

I stayed at the hospital last night and he slept all through the night and didn't wake till about 10, ate a great breakfast and is asleep again; I am supposed to meet with the Dr and Social Worker sometime today to confirm things I guess.

I am to visit the memory care facilities today or tomorrow and make a choice and he will be transported the end of next week.  I am doing the best I can to stay positive and strong knowing that this is for Kris' well-being and safety, but it doesn't help with the heart.  I have God keeping us both in His hands and I appreciate ALL your prayers.  My sister is coming over tonight to watch the dogs and stay tomorrow as well, which is a HUGE help and relief.  

Catch up - January 2, 2014

Kris fell down a full flight of stairs this morning, thanks be to God he did not break anything, but they have him in the hospital for a couple of days to keep an eye on him as he did hit his head very hard; they have him restrained which has been very difficult to watch and has caused great agitation... pray for his healing, pray for His guidance that we make the very best decision for Kris.. and myself.