Home Again

I picked Kris up yesterday and he was so happy - hugged all the carepartners and owners and away we went.  He said "drive slow so I can look", he indeed seem to be looking at a strange new world but now and then would see something that he remembered and comment on it.  We decided on Arby's drive-through and went to his old/new home.  The dogs were gated so as not to scare him,,, Katie was so excited she about jumped over the couch and Abby just whined and wagged.  He patted them but then just walked back to his recliner (his comfort place).  He did eat one sandwich (previously he would have eaten 3 :), potato cakes, applesauce and 3 peanut butter cookies.

I don't want to sound negative but I want to write about what is going on so other caretakers can take note... I expected (as always) that things would be better for him, and selfishlessly for me.  I am realizing another phase of Dementia, more decline at a whole different level.  After lunch Kris then realized he was not where he was used to being - he paced and cried and the only comfort I could give him was to hold him as words are not comprehended at this level... he just needs to know he is safe - I don't think even emotions are important, well I should say loving emotions; he always has and continues to pick up on frustration, impatience, or anger.  That is one thing i was most impressed about with most of the carepartners is they were as patient as patient could be - i am sure it is not always like that, everyone has a patient level.  So, again, the best i can do is hold his hand, hug him, speak softly, and change the subject when he is sad - food is a good option or changing where he is sitting sometimes works.  Aspen House had more pacing-space which was a plus :).  I have all doors to outside and downstairs locked and doctor said to gate and put orange or yellow tape across the stairs going up - it worked!  He hasn't even asked about going up.  As I was bringing his things in from the car he did get out on the front step a couple of times but went back in to the house, except when he wanted to come help and instead of going down the front two steps, he went off the side :|,,, he caught himself thank God but it scared him, scared both of us.  Now he says "can't go down there".   He is still resistant to some things, but have also learned that waiting a couple of minutes and going back with the same request will most often give better results - I think he must need that time to process the first question.  Finally to get him in a different mood, we went to get gas in the car... again, when I looked at him he seemed so lost which i guess he is. 

Supper (dinner for those not from western Kansas :) - i had made notes of all the meals he did eat and one of them was pulled BBQ beef with mashed sweet potatoes and so i made it, and so he did not eat it (again NOTHING is concrete in the world of dementia/alzheimers); ate so cheese and went to sleep and slept until about 4 a.m. in the recliner and then moved to the bed for a little while. 

This morning has been an adjustment for both of us.  For those who have asked me "do you think you can do this?" and I answered "Yes", I would like to change my response to "I hope I can".   He eats in little phases, this a.m. two bowls of fruit salad, later 1 piece of bacon (it was too crispy,, guess it's good he is still picky about his food :P ), orange juice, V8 Juice (there's the veggies) and after much-ado, went to sleep about 11:30.  Have decided not to cook like i tried to do in the past, but buy some frozen dinners that he likes, then i don't waste my non-talent and if he isn't hungry, nothing lost.  Will keep cottage cheese, jello, fruit and veggies on hand plus sweets.. okay, that boring part is done. sorry.

I will end in saying that I don't know what tomorrow will bring, over even this afternoon - we will just keep trying and now I know what the experts all say is true.  How can that be? :)  

I love reading Jesus Calling and the scriptures (if you haven't noticed ),  but get this devotional for today: "Your gravest danger is worrying about tomorrow.  If you try to carry tomorrow's burdens today, you will stagger under the load and eventually fall flat.  You must discipline yourself to live within the boundaries of today  It is in the present moment that I walk close to you, helping you carry your burdens..."  Read Psalm 73:23

Well, that's it for now.... must continue shopping for home health care assistance.  God Bless!